Hope everyone had a Happy Fourth of July. Mine was average. Went up to the college and watched the fireworks as usual. I took a few pictures of the fireworks but they didn't turn out so well. Oh well, at least you can kind of see the fireworks.Yet again, I am going to consume another blog entry with that feeling of not having someone. I saw the fireworks last night, and there were no fireworks to me. If you don't understand what I mean, well, I just don't feel like explaining it.
I find my regular church going to be quite hilarious. Everyweek I go - and I feel nothing. I'm not moved or touched in anyway. I think my spirituality is dead. I don't have a divine connection with anything, not even the notion of there being a higher being. It's all become so routine for me and even when I do feel something, it quickly fades away. Shrowded by denial, incomprehension and other misguided ideas. I had planned out a long and in depth blog to explain my feelings, but they have all faded away. I saw Mr. Young there yesterday. I miss him so much. I never needed any kind of psychotherapy when I had him around. As soon as school starts I am going to go visit him as much as possible.
Time to go call Ashlee and see when we are going to go bowling.
Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of prosperity
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say
Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then it's time you spoke up too
Oh well, at least you can kind of see the fireworks.Yet again, I am going to consume another blog entry with that feeling of not having someone. I saw the fireworks last night, and there were no fireworks to me. If you don't understand what I mean, well, I just don't feel like explaining it.
