I feel like a failure at being a friend. I can't accept people the way they are, even more so when they change. Anything can make me angry and anything can make me betray them. But I expect them to put up with me, love and accept for who I am when I can't do that same goddamn thing for them. I abuse people, I maniupulate them so they seem to be worse than I am. The worst part is that I am ok with it all.
Going to go see Hoobastank and Phantom Planet with Amanda on Thursday(hopefully). Most of this post was written up on a different day, my mood has changed actually. Today I'm feeling alright, it's been a weird day. It feels like im sleepwalking in an odd way. I keep listening to comedians, and my mind is just fried. I really want to go out. All these guys I've been talking to, boost my self esteem and I do feel a billion times better about myself but it's all just talk. None of it is real, and for some reason I don't want to have anything to do with them. I want..hell I don't know what I want. I think I just need a guy bestfriend. I just don't know anymore.
I am so tired all the time now. I want to go and just curl up in a ball and fall asleep. I need to get out of my house and go to sleep at someone else's house. It also doesn't help that I want to cuddle really really bad. Anyone want to come cuddle :)?
Listening : Dane Cook - Comedy Central Special
