Sometimes I wonder about myself. I wonder what I stand for, and what I'm really worth. I don't know what any of this means. But it seems appropriate. I don't know where I'm headed in life. I want the big things, but can't do the little things. It seems like an overmelodramatic point of view, but I can't decide who I am anymore. People always talk about finding themselves. But how can I find myself if I don't know where to look? Can I burn the mazes I grow? Can I?...I don't think so. No reads my blogger anymore, I almost feel safe to write in it. But I'm afraid the people I would hurt would read it. But that hasn't stopped me yet. I feel like crying all the time, but for no reason at all. Words float around in my head, emotions rape my body and yet I feel so numb inside. A void I can't bare. Who can I run to? Where can I hide? Whom am I to cry to? No one. I want someone I can cry to. I wish I had my hubby around - I wish he wasn't a disillusionment floating in my head. Bright Eyes seems appropriate right now. I need an emoboy.
Listening : Klaus Bedelt - Pirates Of The Caribbean Soundtrack
