Sitting there I looked at the cars going by on the streets. Half the cars were comming. Half the cars were going. I wondered where the cars were headed, and if they thought to themselves if they were comming or going. I wondered to myself which one was I. Was I comming or was I going?
I look at him with the pain in his eyes. I see his insides churning. I see the wheels of his brain turning. He's in pain, he's in denial, he's hurt, he's vengeful. He uses words to make my heart break and my mind ponder. But I look into those eyes and I see why he does what he does.
Last night was interesting. I went to the Staff vs Students basketball game. The students won - I was surprised. But most of the night I was working the concession stand with PJ. I had a very interesting conversation with someone. They will remain nameless for fear of somebody reading this and seeking some kind of harm onto the other. I learned things about..someone.. I didn't know before, I learned things that shocked me and because so they comforted me. I just feel bad for everyone else. The thing about me is I can spot people who are like me on the inside. Manipulative, cunning and deceptive. I didn't say I was proud of these qualities, but I am who I am. But at least I'm honest about it. And until I find Jesus, they will probablly remain this way. I'm neither proud or ashamed of my actions, I am who I am. He is who he is. I can't change that,and I will accept it. I guess you live and learn. You take the good with the bad. Ying and Yang. Trust and betrayal.
But I will never betray your trust. Confide in me and it stays with me. You may have a different opinion of me, but you see me with tainted eyes of crimson hate. I cannot change that. I am who I am.
You know who you are. This one's for you. You are who you are. I accept that. Won't you accept me?
Hopelessness is your cell
Since you've drawn out these lines
Are you protected from trying times?
Man, It takes a silly girl to lie about the dream she had
Lord, it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt it all
Oh look now
There you go with hope again
Oh you're so sure
I'll be leaving in the end
Dig your ditch deep enough
To keep you clear of the sun
You've been burned more than once
You don't think much of trust
Man, It takes a silly girl to lie about the dream she had
Lord, it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt it all
Oh look now
There you go with hope again
Well I'll be sure your secret's safe with me
Oh you're so sure
I'll be leaving in the end
Treating me like I'm already gone
But I'm not
I will stay where you are always
I will stay
I will stay
Listening : Dashboard Confessional - Rapid Hope Loss
Reading : A Rather Hateful Note from Seth
Mood : Optimistic |
