The thoughts that are running through my mind are on two different extremes. I'm afraid if I do go through with one of the choices I'll be missing out on all the things that have yet to come. The other makes me scared that much more pain, anguish and loneliness are to come. I don't want to regret either decision and I'm probably not in the best frame of mind to be making and decisions of any kind. All these thoughts run rampent in my mind, illuding practicallity and logical thinking. I think of all the attrocious things I have done, and all the shit that has happened to me - is it worth it to commence either one of these choices? But if I was gone - would anybody really, truely miss me? Or would they just go through the motions of knowning somebody that has moved away. It's sad at first, but you don't really care. I want to be remembered, I don't care anymore if it's for a good or bad reason.
No sleep, no sleep untill I'm done finding the answer
Won't stop, won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer
Sometimes I feel like going down and I'm so disconnected
Somehow I know that I'm haunted to be wanted
I've been watchin', I've been waitin'
In the shadows for my time
I've been searchin', I've been livin'
For tomorrows all my life
Oh, oh in the shadows
Oh, oh in the shadows
They say, that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their save
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow, I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder
I've been watchin', I've been waitin'
In the shadows for my time
I've been searchin', I've been livin'
For tomorrows all my life
Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me
Come take me higher
I've been watchin', I've been waitin'
In the shadows for my time
I've been searchin', I've been livin'
For tomorrows all my life
I've been watchin', I've been waitin',
I've been searchin', I've been livin'
For tomorrows
Oh in the shadows
Oh in the shadows
....I've been waiting....
How much longer do I have to wait in this misery?
Why does it hurt so bad? Why did you hurt me? Why did this all happen?
Listening : The Rasmus - In The Shadows Reading : Zen and The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance
Mood : Hopeless |
I don't want to regret either decision and I'm probably not in the best frame of mind to be making and decisions of any kind. All these thoughts run rampent in my mind, illuding practicallity and logical thinking. I think of all the attrocious things I have done, and all the shit that has happened to me - is it worth it to commence either one of these choices? But if I was gone - would anybody really, truely miss me? Or would they just go through the motions of knowning somebody that has moved away. It's sad at first, but you don't really care. I want to be remembered, I don't care anymore if it's for a good or bad reason.
