The day finally came, when words were spoken that were stuck in our throats before. Excuses, melodrama and stupidity ceased to be, and everything was okay again. I looked at you, took a step forward and took in a deep breath. I swallowed whatever pride I had when that simple word escaped my lips.
If you couldn't tell by the over melodramatic above writings, today was the day. Yes, The Day. Stephen and I made amends. To be frank, I was happier than shit. Of course this is at the expense of someone's sanity..but at least it is not mine this time. Being selfish seems so guilty, but might as well be honest about it in my mind and leave everyone else to their own. Happiness in lies I guess. Did that even make sense? I don't think it was meant to. Things aren't back to normal..whatever normal means. I think we're both getting re-acquainted with each other If I didn't care..why would I keep reading your blog which I understand. 9 days. 9 days of broken spirits and a mentality. I can't speak for him, or anyone else...but those 9 days were the worst I've had in a long time. Thanks to everyone who put up with my bitching *coughMeggerz, Britt, Gina, Amanda, Lauren, Lacey..* I'm still in disbelief. I'm wondering if this is too good to be true. I can't stand for this to happen again. But at least I have resolution, which is more than I had yesterday.
My head is made up of memories, most of them useless delusions. This room is bored of rehearsal and sick of the boundaries. I missed you so much. Are you afraid of being alone? Cause I am. I'm lost without you. I'm not meant to be here. But so what? And nobody's..nobody's taken your place. And if you knew, nothing could replace you .If you were sane your heart wouldn't ache. And I won't ask you to pretend that we were what we were, and still another time. Forget all the lies forgive me the wounds. And all the world was used to love. And yes we'd still be happy in another time.
Listening : The Cure - So What?
Mood : Happy Disbelief. |
