Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled
I know the truth now, I know who you are - and I don't love you anymore
It never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled
it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool
The cutest guy in all of Bakersfield works at Baskin Robins over by Togo's. Ah..he was so cute. We had a connection, oh we did. He had the biggest brown eyes and shoulders for days. Was he my soul mate? Oh yeah. I had an interesting dream last night, I guess I've been watching way too much "Pimp My Ride" but I had a dream that my car got pimped out. It was actually very tricked out. But make this day number 6 of you know who haunting my dreams. He is in every dream I have, and they just keep getting worse and worse. I'm starting to be afraid to fall asleep because I know he will just meet be in my unconscious.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Does anyone know what happened to The All American Rejects or American Hi-Fi? Just a random thought. I'm feeling wicked sick, I ate way too much and now I feel like I'm going to pass out. I took off my nails last night, I guess it's a metaphor in a way, I'm gettind rid of the shit from the past. Most of you should know what I am talking about. I miss my nails something terrible, once I get money I'm going to get them redone. Good ol' pink and whites ;)
Went to church today, I hadn't been in a couple of weeks. Saw Trevor there, Sometimes I really feel like I should find Jesus, and that maybe he is out there, just waiting for me. Then the otherside of me shrugs and I continue existing for nothing in particular. I guess I am an existentialist in some ways. But it was interesting sermon to say the least. Maybe it's just me, trying to think I am special again, but I felt in some ways the sermon was meant for me. Telling me to let go of the past, everything happens for a reason and not to worry so much. Even if it wasn't "meant" for me, it did kind of impact me in someway. What I'm trying to say, and this is directed to someone, they know who they are, because that's all I talk about anymore, but you broke your promises - but I won't break mine, I will not forsake you. I won't. Remember that.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Listening : Coldplay - The Scientist
Mood : Wonky |
