It's amazing the transformation one goes thru. Especially when it comes to the internet. Being a former, now reformed, chat room junkie and (ex) user of the grotesque short hand that everyone uses now a days (such as ur, kewl..ect ect). I CANNOT BELIEVE I EVEN USED SUCH ATROCIOUS LANGUAGE. I was browsing thru one of my old aol screen names and due to an error on my dad's part, my screen name was deleted, but I could still access it thru the Guest feature on aol. I still use the name to get on the internet anonymously but I was browsing thru all the favorites and it's amazing how much I have changed compared to when I was 12 and 13. I have so many Sailor Moon and Eminem sites linked, or had I should say, now I that I have deleted them all.
"I was so depressed when I was 16 and 17. I was always depressed and everything just kept getting worse. And it would drive my mum nuts because she couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. It's time to really look inside yourself and decide if this is really a part of you, or it's just a phase. Mine was just a phase. But yours could be just you. But you have to decide that for yourself." You know, for only being 22, Tanu is quite wise. I have a psychiatrist appointment in less than an hour. I guess maybe Tanu is right, and it's time to decide whether or not I'm going to incorporate being depressed forever into my personality, to realize that this is just who I am..or to suck it up and get on with life. I know depression isn't a mind set, or a frame of mind, but it is a plague. I don't want to succumb to the depression anymore. I want to be the strong person I know I am. But really, what is strong?
Mason and I had a discussion about bands today. He couldn't believe I liked the bands I liked. I told him I liked them longer than he did, and I also told him I don't get any credit that I enjoy the bands I do. He told me if I dressed the way he did, he'd believe me. I don't know how to react to that. Sometimes I wonder if this blog is either too depressing and too dark, or too light and fluffy. I guess I'm a dark, fluffy piece of cake. In moderation I'm good and pleasing, but too much and you may have a hernia.
