If I had to endure ONE more sex talk or talk of sex this weekend..I would have had to pull a Van Gough. For starters, my mum and I were dressing up our couchbed for Tata and whilst we were putting on the sheets , well here's how THAT conversation went:
Mum : " God..I've had these sheets forever. Since I was with Steve.."
Me : " Oh..UGH!! I'm never sleeping in those sheets again. That's fucking gross mom."
Mum: " Watch your language little girl. And no it's not gross."
Me: " Yes it is..your ex boyfriend gave ugly a new meaning. He makes Amanda's ex boyfriends look like models."
Mum: "You slept in my bed last night you know."
Me: "Yes..but I guareenteed that bed hasn't rocked in a LOOONG time."
Mum: " Not in a long time, but it has rocked. What? Do you guys think you were concepted out of thin air?"
Me: " I know I wasn't, but I'd like to think I was. And you're a sick bastard for doing that right across the hall from your children. SICK!"
Mum: "Grow up Kristyn. And don't ever call me a sick bastard again."
Me : "But you are..."
Maybe I'm not exactly that mature, but the last thing I ever want to hear, is my mum sexual exploits - with anybody. Then my Tata, when he came over, talked about 69's and that whole chestnut. Then last night I had to put up with my mum's condemnation upon me for my ideas about sex. I can't please anybody..guess I'll just have to get those extra pleasure condoms next time..
Listening : Rufio - Over It
