Well, I am a sucker. Perhaps the biggest one ever. Whether it be for a good Disney movie, or for some guy. -sigh- But what can I do? I don't have control in these circumstances. I never did and I never will. Mais la vie tend à me baiser plus d'intensivement, particulièrement avec un certain deuxième étudiant d'année qui demeurera inconnu. L'amour suce. Baise chacun et tout chose. I really need to learn French better, it truely is the best language on earth. It just flows from your mouth so easily. See, I'm a sucker for foreign languages and cities. I bet in Paris they treat girls with more respect, even cherish them. But sadly I do not live in Paris, no where near it. So it's back to the same old abuse day after day. God, I can't wait to get the fuck out of this hell hole. Maybe I am doomed to revisit my deja vu. Everyone asks me why everything is Deja Vu in this layout. It's because everything in my life has already happened. I have been thru the same (abusive) relationships and done the same things as I have done in the past. I cannot change. And you know what else...?
I don't really want to.
Again, I am going to quote some lyrics. Because I have no orginiality to my feelings.
Awake at ground zero
another day wasting away
Nothing seems to matter,
cause nothing's ever changed!
California dreamin'
has never meant that much to me,
when living in this nightmare comes so easily!
Holding on,
when I don't belong.
If this is right,
then I can't go on.
Holding on,
when I know right now I'll never make it.
Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow,
and figure out where to begin,
Maybe I wont feel so hollow,
but I'm pretty sure that I'll be sleepin' in.
Days seem like they're decades,
and minutes past like years gone by.
And still I sit here wasting,
the time of my life.
California dreamin' will never mean that much to me,
and you'll never understand,
how I feel to be...
Holding on,
when you don't belong,
when you don't feel right,
but it's all you've got.
Holding on,
when I'm pretty sure I'll never make it!
Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow,
and figure out where to begin,
maybe I won't feel so hollow...
It's three A.M,
and it feels like these four walls are caving in,
Please tell me I'm not alone...
Cause I'm tired of sleeping in.
Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow,
and figure out where to begin,
maybe I wont feel so hollow,
but I'm pretty sure that I'll be sleepin in.
Is the song depressing? Yes - but when has the ever mattered to me? Infact, when has anything really mattered to me? Maybe just when I am suckered into things. But, for some reason, I think I have done that before..
Listening : Home Grown - Tomorrow