I was reading Chris' blog and I began to think about something I thought about last Sunday. Even though I am having a crisis of faith, just bare with me for awhile.
What if Hell is the existance we live in now? That somehow we all refused to believe in God in some point in time in a past life or what have you and we are living in hell, doomed to forever ponder our existence? Maybe it's just a cycle until you do accept God, or a higher being or whatever, and then get to be at peace and understanding with your creator. I mean it's a far out thought but I was just pondering this one night. Maybe Hell isn't flames and physical torture, but psychological pain from not being at peace and not ever knowing the reasons behind existence. I, myself am already plagued with my feeling of not belonging and understanding differently than others. And it's so lonely, I don't think anybody reading this knows. To be on the outside looking in, it's unbarable. And that, my friends, has to be Hell. Maybe not knowing the answers is Hell. And Heaven is knowing.
But to elaborate on one of his thoughts as well, I hope as well as most people, that we don't die alone. But I think the act it self, is by yourself. No one else can die with you, in your own body. Maybe it's the most humbling experience and most horrifying one as well. And I am in no way anxious to experience death.
Can I break away?
Push me away, make me fall
..just to see another side of me
Push me away
You can't see what I see
..the other side of me.
Listening : TRUSTcompany - Downfall